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Let's Talk Thursday: Depression. *Trigger Warning*

Therapy Thursday is now Let's talk Thursday. Same concept with a focus on Mental Health Awareness. I planned for today's topic to be Depression. This morning as I was scrolling Twitter I found out that a popular streamer had committed suicide. The more I read about what he went through, the more I started to connect to him. I live with mental illness. Depression and suicidal ideologies are a part of what I deal with daily. Something I struggle with is that I want so badly to be loved. At the same time, I am so broken and have so much baggage that it is hard for anyone to love me or become close to me and I don't want someone to have to deal with it. I've had friends leave because of it. 

I can't be sunshine and rainbows all the time and no one wants to be around that negativity. It runs people off. So what happens is people fake a smile and fake happiness to make everyone around them more comfortable. Positivity attracts positive. I've been trying to be more positive lately. I'm going to Therapy. America's Mental Healthcare is the worst. My Therapist knows that I am a high risk for suicide and that I am in crisis right now and I can't get an appointment until 3 weeks. To see a Psychiatrist is months out. I have insurance. It is worse for people who don't have insurance. We need to demand better mental healthcare. We also need to do better as a society to help others.

A video that ready upset me was posted where this streamer had been talking publicly about his struggles. He had tons of trolls in his chat telling him to kill himself. You could see how upset he was in the video. I could feel how he felt at that moment. It is so heartbreaking to see someone struggling like that. Please listen to your friends. Even if they say they are going to kill themselves all the time and you think they are doing it just for attention, insist that they get help and be there for them. This guy struggled for years with his mental illness before he died by it. I know it is hard to be friends with people like me. That is why it is important to insist that they seek help. If they are a minor and they are threatening to kill themselves you must tell an adult. Take the threat seriously. If you believe someone is going to commit suicide you should call the authorities and if you don't feel comfortable doing that then offer to stay on the phone with them while they call a crisis line. You can not handle the burden alone.

If you are having suicide ideologies you need to seek help. I have listed the websites below. Speak with a licensed therapist. If you do not know how to find one there are organizations to help you. Talking to your friends is great, but take it from me there is only so much a friend can take and it is not a healthy relationship. You need to speak with someone who is trained in how to help you. You are not alone. There are so many of us who feel what you are feeling. We can make it through this together. Please stay in this world. With help, it does get easier.

If you are in the US:

Need Immediate Help In A Crisis

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Call 800-273-TALK (8255)
If you or someone you know is in crisis—whether they are considering suicide or not—please call the toll-free Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline connects you with a crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to your location. Your call will be answered by a trained crisis worker who will listen empathetically and without judgment. The crisis worker will work to ensure that you feel safe and help identify options and information about mental health services in your area. Your call is confidential and free.

Crisis Text Line – Text NAMI to 741-741
Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Trained expert advocates are available 24/7 to provide confidential support to anyone experiencing domestic violence or seeking resources and information. Help is available in Spanish and other languages.

National Sexual Assault Hotline – Call 800-656-HOPE (4673)
Connect with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area that offers access to a range of free services. Crisis chat support is available at Online Hotline. Free help, 24/7.



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